Hutch the Dog

Mini Gallery

The Aerotrain!

"Hutch, wake up. Come on, get up!"

"Eh?! Wuffor? It's not mid-day yet, issit?"

"Don't argue, get up."

"No, don't want. Too early."

So, the upshot is, at what seems like warp speed, I am whisked to the nearest tree, which is duly anointed, and before I know it, I'm in the back of my car. I'm not impressed.

A couple of hours later, we arrive in a car park, surrounded by mountains bigger than the hills that we had left earlier at silly-o-clock. It's warm though, about 23 degrees. There's a helicopter buzzing about as well. We have a wander around, and I have a scoff and a drink.

Then I'm dragged into a place that looks a bit like a railway station. Now, I've been on trains before, and I didn't like them much, so I was none too happy at this turn of events. There wasn't much that I could do about it though; I had a collar on with a lead attached, and, unusually, a harness as well, also with a lead attached. Was there a reason for this, I wondered, apprehensively.

YES, THERE WAS! There were a lot of the smallest train carriages that I've ever seen, moving slowly. Nothing was pulling them though! We approach one, and the doors opened. It didn't stop! I'M NOT GETTING ON THAT....

So, I'm in this tiny train carriage, with my neck a bit longer than it was before I got on it, and the doors close. It keeps going forward........and UP! It goes out of the roof of the train station! And starts swinging from side to side. At this point, I demonstrate what a big, tough dog I am. By crying, whimpering, and burying my head into the people that I am going to disown. They are rabbiting on about things like "Ben Nevis", "Aonach Mor", and "2,100 feet". WOT!

After what seems like hours, the doors open, and I'm dragged off. The bloody thing still didn't stop, and my neck's now even longer. We're in another railway station, but, like the other one, it's got no rails.

Out we go, into the open air. It's FREEZING! And blowing a gale! Far below, I can see a town, the sea, and rivers that I should be playing in, instead of being up here, terrified and freezing my **** off. I'm sure that I can see the ISS. I can see lots more floating train carriages, some coming up, and some going down. I'd be ringing the SSPCA, but I've forgotten my 'phone.

"Come on Hutch, we're going for a walk."

"I'm not going!"

So, we go on this walk. Upwards. My neck is doing an impression of Pinnochios nose. After a while, though, it gets to be not too bad, apart from the cold, and the wind whistling up around my nether regions. I'm allowed to run about in the grass and the heather. No trees here though. There are mountains all around, and other dogs that must have been as mistreated as me.

After a few hours, we're back in the railway station. We approach one of the mini train carriages. It doesn't stop. Its door opens. "I'M NOT GETTING IN THERE AGAIN!"

So, in I'm dragged, and we set off going down, and swinging side to side. I once again prove without any shadow of a doubt that my favourite colour is yellow.

A few hours later, we get home. My neck! I must look like a giraffe. On reflection though, I enjoyed it, and I go to sleep a happy dog.:-)

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